What a Long Time it has Been…

It’s been a while, eh reader? You’ll have noticed the new theme – yes, I’ve been decorating… Also, WordPress, in all their semi-omniscient wisdom, have seen it fit to bestow on me the right to offer you the chance to ‘like’ ‘share’ ‘tweet’ ‘digg’ generally send my posts across the twittersphere, the digg-o-globe and, presumably, the Facebook-o-circle. Yes, reader, go, spread the word: There is a new – or at least not very famous – blogger on the scene, and he’s exactly the same as all of the other blogs out there, except maybe not quite as good. It’s true. I can’t even do pictures very well.
So, new term, new school year, new school even. (I think it might also be Jewish New Year, but don’t quote me on that.) What is happening in the crazy land of Johz?
Well, I’ve moved schools, as my old school has run out of years for me to be in. The new school however, goes all the way up to Year 13! That’s right the way up to the age of 18, at which point I assume that I will be thrown out of my house to go and get a debt, which, I hear, is what universities are for these days.
Interestingly, I am abandoning my comprehensive ways, and going to a grammar school. Yes, I know, and very weird it is too. For some odd reason, instead of doing rugby in PE, I’m doing ‘rugger’ in ‘games’! What on earth is ‘rugger’, anyway? Still, I suppose I brought it on myself.
Also, exam results! Yes, those dreaded things! Not too badly here, a few A* grades, but mainly As, and a D in Physical Education to match my D in Citizenship. Not too bad, overall, but I know that, had I worked harder, maybe I would have acheived more?
On top of all this, I have just started the Bible in One Year, a Soul Survivor initiative, whereby they have mixed up the Bible a bit, and split it all into daily chunks. The idea is that we all start on September the first, and Mike Pilivachi will finish on August the thirty first, with the rest of us having given up at various points along the way.
Joking aside, this is actually a very good idea. I mean, I call myself a Christian, but I’ve never really had the chance to make my own mind up about what the Bible actually says, and, being as the Bible is a rather large cornerstone of the Christian faith, I feel that I may be missing out slightly. I’d recommend you try it to, especially if you’re an atheist trying to argue that we’re misguided fools. At the very least, you’ll be able to know our weaknesses…
Finally, in the grand round-up of all things Johz, I feel that, so far, I appear to have neglected perhaps the most important thing…

I T ‘ S – M Y – B I R T H D A Y ! !

Well, it’s not my birthday, it is merely the first aniversary of this blog, and it isn’t for about a month or so yet. However, if you can think of an absolutely epic-ly wonderfully awsome way of celebrating this momentous occasion, please, I would love to be able to hear it.
You can tell I’m excited. I don’t think I have ever used the word awesome in my life.

Freedom, Finishes, and… Extra Maths?

Before I start, I’d like to dedicate this post to Conoga. Not because you have inspired me, helped me, made me realise who I am, or anything interesting like that, but because you reminded me that I was neglecting this blog somewhat. So I’m going to blame this post on you! Thanks, though.

I suppose I ought to mention why I’ve been away for so long. Not as an excuse of course. Merely as a… Reason. The answer is that I have been doing a lot of exams recently. A lot of a lot. In fact, I think I’ve done, not including modular exams, almost thirty different papers. Woah. That’s an impressive thing to be able to write.
You might have guessed it already: I’ve been taking my GCSEs. These will, apparently, affect my entire life. I can’t be doing things like that at the age of 16, can I?
But whatever about that, because, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I HAVE FINISHED!!! At last! Can I hear a cheer, people?
This, however, means that I have also finished school. And, as I refuse to get Facebook, so I’ll probably never see many of my friends again. Excuse me for a minute while I remember them. There was the one who smashed my head against a window. (Yes, a friend…) There was the one who gave me the name Johz. There was even the one called Geoffrey, although he will never admit it.
So fair you well. I wonder, dear friends, if our paths shall ever cross again…

Okay, you can look back now. I’ve stopped being sloppy.

So now I’ve finished school, there is a massive gap left, that is, apparently, called ‘freedom’. I haven’t seen much of it yet. After sampling a few days of this so called ‘freedom’, I can tell you that it is the most oppressive, tyrannical thing you will ever experience. Either that, or far too full of Star Trek episodes. (Look, it was either that, or Jeremy Kyle…)
So far, my list of things to do includes:

• Washing the toilets.
• Selling my mother’s stuff on Ebay.
• Watering my mother’s allotment.
• Tidying my room.
• Cleaning under the stairs.
• Extra Maths.

Yes, you heard me right. School is finished, end of lessons, so now I’ve got to do extra maths.
The reasons for this are… Complicated. Basically, out teachers forced us to take maths GCSE half a year early, and since then, I haven’t done any maths at all. I’m now planning on going to a grammar school’s Sixth Form college, and do maths and further maths. Fantastic.
Which means that I need to catch up. Also, this grammar school expects its students to take maths and advanced maths at GCSE level anyway, so I’ll be behind them to begin with.

So that’s my predicament. No more school does not equal fun, frolics and something else beginning with ‘f’. Possibly freedom. No. It makes life even worse. I need something to do over the next ten(ish) weeks. And I need it fast. Any suggestions?

PS:
I haven’t been entirely truthful when I said that the reason for my neglect was exams. It was mainly exams, but the exams then finished, and… well… I got side-tracked. Sorry. I’ll make sure I do better next time.

PPS:
Ever heard the curious case of Phineas Gage? I found this today, and it is probably one of the best retellings of the story that I have ever heard. I must subscribe to these guys.

Exam

Friday afternoon on a
Warm summer’s day.
Shouts from the playground:
“Come out, come out,
Come out to play!”
We can’t, our
Hands cramped,
Heads aching,
Blessed repose and rest
Never came to the deservéd.
A hundred and twenty seconds to every minute.
A hundred and twenty minutes to every hour.
Time is as Time does,
And nothing slows time like
Endless low distant hum, or
Sigh, mutter of ourselves.
Exam time is here -
Forever.

Yes, its exam time in Birmingham. Fun fun fun… This was written during an exam (I finished slightly too early, I feel…) so it is, really, the genuine feelings of a real schoolchild. As if the rest of this blog isn’t…