I’ve recently finished my AS level exams, and one of the key features of those, and probably all the exams I ever will sit, is the stress. Stress is a horrible thing, invading into every aspect of one’s life, and so now I’ve been acting especially grouchy. So, considering this, would it not be better if all our exams were made a bit more stress free?
The De-Stress Our Examinations Party
Item 1 – All pupils should be allowed to take lucky mascots into school. This can include, but is not limited to, lucky cuddly animals, lucky real animals, lucky calculators, lucky supercomputers, lucky particle accelerators, and lucky teachers.
Item 2 – During exam periods, students should have their time made as comfortable as possible. Examples of relaxational techniques include foot massages and back rubs, performed by trained invigilators, fanning with traditional Egyptian feather fans, warm bubble baths (very bubbly), relaxing music, and for exam papers to be colour-coded in such a way as to be pleasing to the eye.
Item 3 – Exam questions should be of three forms and three forms only. These should be join-the-dots, copy-what-the-person-next-to-you-wrote, and colour-in-the-picture questions.
Item 4 – Pages that have no questions written on them should not have ‘This page has no questions written on it”. Instead, it should be headed with the words “This page has been left blank to doodle on.” The page should also have inspirations and starting doodles, for those people who are just too stressed out to be creative.
Sounds about right to me. Any joiners?